Have you ever taken a hike that ends with an awe-inspiring, breath-taking view? Do you remember that moment just before you see it? Maybe you are just about to break over the top of the mountain, or just leaving the tree line, approaching the cliff edge....you can see the expanse of space and know that a beautiful vista is about to unfold before you, but you can't quite see it yet. Do you know that moment? That is were I am. There are several aspects of my life that I have been working on, striving to change or come to terms with. I've been struggling through the brush, running through the valleys, racing up hills...absolutely confident that there is something amazing, new and beautiful just ahead. I am only a few steps away from seeing that view. I know it, I can feel it coming.
There are a few major events coming that are going to change nearly everything in our lives, the largest of these being the military. For the last year or so, F has been working on joining the military. Thanks to a less than stellar recruiter, this journey has been long and frustrating. A few months ago, we made the decision to switch to the Air Force and a new recruiter. The ball is finally rolling and I am confident that we made the right decision. The prospect of becoming a military family is something that pushes you to a level of introspection and soul-searching. Can I do this? Can we do this? Is this the right decision for us, for the family that we hope to start? Those of you who know me, who know us know that we are eagerly anticipating the challenge of it and will find excitement in this process.
The other potentially huge change will come in the next few weeks as I get answers on my health. I know that it is dreadfully unfair of me to just say that and then not explain. I feel the need to mention it here because it most certainly will change things and that must be acknowledged, but there is such fear in me that I can not give you more explanation than that because to do so would open the door and allow all of the "what ifs" to crowd into me.
We are also coming up to the beginning of a new school year. I believe so strongly in the work that we do here and am so looking forward to seeing old and new students, to the partnership with the staff and the joy of learning. With a new teacher on staff, our community is changing and growing in exciting ways and I am eager to take my place and see what direction this year will take us.
Somewhere deep inside of my mind a shift has started. It is too nebulous and small to be defined, but I can feel it stirring...just there, right at the edge of consciousness. I like to think that my unconscious self is changing and growing in preparation for the life changes that are ahead of me. A growth spurt of the soul, if you will.
There is more, I could continue my randomness and ramble on for longer, but I will save that for other days. There are errands to run and things to do. And besides, I think I may have just spotted the first ripe grape of the season.
